Faraway but not Forgotten

Let’s start from the beginning. I found out I was pregnant while taking the minipill, aka the progesterine-only pill, aka the pill to safe while nursing. Due to this I was pretty sure I was due at the end of April and found out at 15 weeks I was a month further along. Due to this I have often been uncertain about if it was my actual EDD. 

My mom came to town two weeks before I was due. A few days before I was scheduled to take the GRE. So after I took the GRE I was eager to deliver the baby, since my mom was only scheduled to be in town for three weeks. When I hit my due date ( 3/25) I started to get nervous. For days I had been doing all of the “natural induction” suggestions. on 40 weeks 4 days I had walked approximately 4 miles, ate spicy food, etc. After weeks of unreliable contractions I was feeling pretty certain she would be coming with the next 36 hours. 

My 40 week OB/GYN appt was scheduled at 40 weeks 5 days. The midwife I saw that day had never seen me before and was one of the first to ask about the accuracy of my EDD. Due to her uncertainty she was about to refuse to “sweep my membranes.”  But after speaking with another midwife/doctor and looking up my file they determined my due date was accurate so they agreed to do a membrane sweep.

Almost immediately after the sweep I felt discomfort and having contractions. I came home and we planned on having more spicy food and went to the Thai restaurant. I had been keeping track of my contractions on an iPhone app. I drove to dinner and had a contraction during the drive that made me feel I shouldn’t drive home. By the time I got home the contractions were averaging 5minutes and I laid down for a few minutes but they slowed down. So I took a shower and monitored my contractions. Eric headed out and was considering going to a movie (since it felt like the birth might have been a while away).  I got out of the shower and Eric came into the room to inform me he wasn’t going to a movie when I felt intense pressure and a “pop” noise. My water broke. 9pm.

We had intended on waiting as long as possible before heading to the hospital to avoid unneccessary intervention and as Eric made a “this is the night” phone call I felt that we couldn’t wait-that I had to head to the hospital without hesitation. The contractions were coming quicker and harder. 2-1minutes apart. We left for the hospital and came across a car accident that had just had the police and ambulance arrive.  Eric got an opportunity to announce “Officer, no shit, my wife is in labor” and we got police guided through the car accident.

Throughout the car ride I kept unnecessarily keeping track on my iPhone and was having very intense contractions. (Eric told me later that the short period between contractions made him start thinking how he would clamp off the cord if I had her in the car). As we approached the gate to post I was anxious because I didn’t want one of these contractions while we were by the guard. The contraction stopped and I was happy I’d pass the guard without a contraction but another one started and the guard got to see me in full contraction mode. After getting through the gate I unbuckled and spun around to be as “on fours” as I could get in the car.

Eric pulled up to the hospital and brought me a wheelchair.  I couldn’t make myself sit down in the wheelchair so I agreed to use it to push with. He left me with a hospital employee while he parked the car. In my head I thought that I couldn’t handle the intensity of these contractions for much longer and if I made it up to the hospital before Eric I could foresee myself getting the epidural. The woman walked with me and stopped with me as I waited through the contraction.  At one point she informed me I had a puddle of blood beneath me. Eric made it back to us before I even made it to the elevator and I started to feel pressure, like the head was pushing out.  I said “this baby is coming!” and during the next contraction, feeling the same pressure but more intense I told them “This baby is coming right now!” 

We got on the elevator and the lady who pushed the button accidentally pushed the wrong floor. Once we got to the right floor Eric, without asking, “checked” and lifted my skirt where he noticed I was crowning (and I quickly said “No!”)  The nurses guided me into a delivery room and asked me to lay down and I informed them I couldn’t.  So they asked if I would get on all fours on the bed. My midwife arrived and with the next contraction I pushed. In three pushes/contractions Dorothy was born.

My intake time was 10:03pm. Dorothy was born at 10:06.

I recall being inundated parenting advice before I had Helena and not knowing here from there. Everyone had an opinion and everyone parented differently. Contemporary parenting practices differ from older practices. Whose advice to take?! I tend to drift towards the crunchy, natural parenting philosophies. They tend to make sense.  I wanted to distill down my 3 most important guidelines for “newborns.” Additionally, I want anyone with a newborn or a child to feel comforted in the fact we are all hounded by philosophies and ideas. I have avoided certain people at times because I knew we differed in parenting ideas. I’ve probably also been secretly giggled at during occasions due to my choices. I do my best not to preach my views and make suggestions when asked but respect everyone’s parenting choices (assuming they’re not abusive or incredibly inappropriate).

That being said, I have three pieces of advice that I’d like to share from the parenting books that I think should definitely be carried through. If you feel differently, cool.

1. No tv before 2 years.

2. Do not start sleep training until at least 4 months.

3. Breastfeed.

Now, I’m aware that each of these pieces of advice can be argued. I can’t be too strict with my tv rule since its in every restaurant I go to these days.  I know that some moms start working and they find pumping not creating enough milk to satisfy the minimum amount of milk needed. I know some parents choose to co-sleep until their kid is ready to move on.

I, in fact, watched television in the blurry hours of the morning when I had a one month old. I decided after some thought that I’d be willing to use it as a crutch to stay awake. Once I noticed Helena’s eyes were following the tv and seeing the flashing lights, I stopped watching it around her. It was VERY difficult, particularly since I was alone a lot.  But I stuck to my guns. It will be on at friends’ houses and I won’t flip out because I recognize its their home and their choices. But at our home it isn’t used yet. Nowadays she might catch the tale end of something we had been watching during her nap but thats it. Luckily, Eric is on board (sometimes he needs a reminder).

I co-slept with Helena the first 5months and occasionally afterwards. Eric would have prefered this for a lot longer but he wasn’t the one awaken by her in the middle of the night.  We attempted to “sleep train” around 6months but I had no research on it and Eric couldn’t handle the tears.  I eventually read a book when we moved away from Italy and tried again, using their method (which seemed very healthy and reasonable) and Helena was fine in a couple days.  Their method, btw, was to establish a night time routine for 2 weeks, then begin night time training (entering the room to comfort the baby whenever felt most comfortable for me but not removing her from the bed), and eventually using these skills two weeks later at nap time.  It was hard but after attempting to rock her to bed for hours or patting her back unsuccessfully for months, I knew it was ME who was in the way of healthy sleep.

Lastly, breastfeeding is difficult. Very much so. But I do think its selfish (sorry) to not breastfeed. I know theres stupid stigma and I know that it has a learning curve. But you have to stick to your guns and just keep at it.  Its sooo good for your baby. If you have made it 6months, you’ve done good kid. I nursed Helena for 1 year. I may have extended but I chose not.  I put this one, surprisingly, last on my list because I know working moms have a different struggle and pumping 4 times at work might not end up as successful as they hoped. But I urge moms to at least try it. 

I won’t judge anyone for my opinions. But AAP agrees with my three views. So I’m proud of myself.

I got pregnant taking the minipill, aka the progesterine only pill. It’s the birth control pill thats safe to take while breastfeeding. And I hadn’t had many problems with it up til the point I got pregnant. And, for the record, if you’re taking the mini pill, please read as much as you can online about it. I don’t want to discredit its power to not-impregnate but I read a lot of anecdotal evidence that made me believe it requires extra research. I have a friend who got pregnant with her first while taking it.

Anyway, due to the fact I was taking the pill (and a TMI warning to anyone thats…lame) I had a inaccurate idea of my last period. That’s how doctor’s typically decide your Expected Due Date and so on. I went to my first appointment and gave her the closest guess I had to my last period, but I had spotted a few times since then as well. That made me question.  I had assumed that I would receive a 1st trimester ultrasound like I had with Helena’s pregnancy (they had discovered she was a WEEK further along than expected).

Anyway, I had been just having this feeling it wasn’t correct. And was informed that no, I don’t get a 1st trimester ultrasound with tricare.  I was guaranteed only a 20 week anatomy scan. The would have probably given me one if I had just said “I don’t know” with my ‘last period’ question. I assume they stick to this strictly since this is a much larger military community.  But I was having some really discomfort. Discomfort I would find really concerning if I was only 13weeks. But not so much if I was further along. Stuff like pain in my ribs or feel fetal movement way too early.

I finally got them to put me in for a “date check” ultrasound. Lo and behold, I’m not 15 weeks pregnant. Nor am I due in late April. I’m 19 weeks pregnant. And due late March.

This is awesome for the simple reason I skipped a whole month of pregnancy. ha!

Why its not awesome:

This photo was taken in late July.  Me, the bride, and three others were bffs in college. And at this moment I was unaware but a month pregnant. No wonder my whiskey was not finished and really grossing me out.

Anyway, the “red’ bridesmaid is getting married March 30 and I’m set to be a bridesmaid in that wedding. It’s only being held 1.5 hours away so I’m not worried about distance but its possible I will be in a hospital nursing a newborn day of the wedding.

So…like last pregnancy, I have a date in mind for this baby. ;) But they do say that babies are born earlier in the second pregnancy so I might not be as lucky this time.

I’m in the midst of making decisions for baby/toddler interior decorating.

With the new baby coming I’ve been wondering how I want to set up the layout for the two of them. We have Helena’s room, toys and all, in a room. Next to her room is another room thats a smidge smaller. 

The first few months of Baby#2’s life will be spent in our room anyway. But I’ve been considering putting both kids in the same bedroom and creating the second room as a playroom. My inspiration for this is to foster a relationship for the two by sharing a space and so that the toys aren’t possessed by a single child.  The downfall to this plan is the possibility of them keeping each other up, either by crying or playing.

Then there is the other part. I’ve been obsessively checking craigslist for furniture.  See, we are a few furniture pieces behind in our own household anyway. I basically need a bookcase for dvds. And perhaps then we will be settled. I’m trying to rid ourselves of an old rolltop desk but its proving to be difficult. Perhaps I’ll have to freecycle it.  But now that we are expecting a new baby we’ll need some “new” furniture. I’m thinking dresser and bed for Helena. But do I get a fullsized bed or a toddler bed. A toddler bed, on the immediate end, would be more affordable.  But long term, why spend money on a toddler bed if I’ll buy a twin later on?

I’m looking at a few options. There are some cheap toddler beds at ikea and target. There is an adorable wrought iron looking bed (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S19827958/)at ikea that is adorable but pricier. But its expandable so it’d last later into her life.

I’ve also been considering what to put in this new nursery. I want Helena to get a chair her size. I might ask for this from one of sets of grandparents. But I’m stuck on choices. I have, obviously, been trolling ikea today because I found this adorable, and affordable, wicker chair:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/90045457/

or there are the stuffed armchairs from Land of nod or Pottery Barn (much more expensive):

http://www.landofnod.com/the-nod-chair/toys-gifts/1

http://www.potterybarnkids.com/shop/kids/playroom/playroom-anywhere-chairs/?cm_type=lnav

And this is just the beginning of the swirlings in my head. So, any opinion on my choices?  IT should be said that the current colors in Helena’s room are mostly yellow and brown.  And some of that stuff, if a playroom is created, will be shifted.

Yesterday I got the opportunity to hear the baby’s heartbeat. So there is for sure a baby growing in there. :)

The days are quickly approaching. I’m due soon and Eric is due to be back for leave in the time I’m due. I’m counting down the days and hoping the baby decides to come on the day I’ve chosen!

I asked my OB if working out would speed along the process (I’ve been pretty regular with my workouts). She informed me that yes, active mothers tend to deliver earlier but that she’s not comfortable telling someone to stop working out, which I understand.

Decisions, decisions!

I keep waiting on a new baby related photo for the newest post but I don’t have any right now. I’ve been really bad about keeping photographic evidence of this pregnancy.  I never got on the “bump report” photographs. I keep getting “bump photo” requests. 

I have a leftover deposit with a photographer that I plan to use for a possible maternity shoot and/or family shoot when Eric’s home. I can’t tell if I love maternity photo shoots or find them hideous and unnecessary.

How should I pose to exhibit this pregnancy most appropriately?!

Soon there will be excessive photos of our baby girl so then this blog will be chockful of images. Until then, I’ll force out a photo here soon. 

Yesterday was my first official “prenatal yoga” class. I’ve been staying current with my yoga while pregnant. I continued to take the classes offered at the gym in Italy with slight adjustments for my pregnancy. I decided to take some prenatal classes here because I figured it would be a good “replacement” for birthing classes.

Near the end of the practice the instructor pre-emptively apologized and asked us to switch from lying on our left side to our right. She then chuckled when she watched the class proceed to make this switch. She related by referring to that turn as the “lift and turn.”

The lift, scoot butt, and turn over.  Another trait pregnant women the world over experience. I wonder if this is due to the weight on your frontside, the ever disintegrating ab strength, or something else.